3 changes I’m making to my life

My six-month internship with a pretty kick-ass Public Relations and Communications Firm ended a few days ago. It’s crazy how time seems to go by so slowly at the start but when the end is near, it whizzes past you and before you know it, you’re entering the workforce and you’re paying your own bills (oh the horror).

We often think that our lives will miraculously get better when we start earning our own money, or when we turn 21. Surprise, surprise! It doesn’t. It only gets better when we actually DO STUFF to get better.

Why so pessimistic, Sheryl? Cheer up man. 

Truth is, I somehow enjoy discussing about these so-called ‘depressing’ issues in life rather than gush about how an amazing, perfect life in the near future awaits me.

My internship wasn’t life changing, but something really important hit home. I decided that it was about time I changed a few of my really bad habits. 

Here are some changes I am determined to make.

Change #1: Complain less about my parents and love them more 

I couldn’t stop complaining to my friends about my parents. There was a period when things were pretty bad at home.

I know it’s frustrating when our parents just don’t get us. They question the people we hang out with, they won’t stop nagging at us about our dressing and our tardiness and they just simply don’t trust us with decisions or basically with anything at all. 

But then again, have we been too self-centered and selfish in our thinking?

Have we taken the time to understand how THEY feel? When was the last time we had a good talk with them about anything? From our career decisions to even the smallest things, like what we ate for lunch?

It’s probably an ‘Asian’ kinda thing but as children, I know that we don’t usually have ‘discussions’ or ‘sharing sessions’ with our parents. It’s super tough to get to them. It’s tough! But it’s not impossible. We should keep trying to make the relationship work.

“You’d think that adults like our parents or teachers would have their lives figured out. You’re wrong. They’re probably still screwing up.” – Young or old, we’re all trying to make of this world we’re living in. We’re just human.

“Constantly remind yourself that your parents aren’t going to be around forever.” I must admit that it’s quite depressing to fill my mind with such kinds of thoughts but honestly; doing so has made me cherish my parents more.

I try to make an effort to not hear, but listen to what they are saying. Perhaps what they need is to have someone dear to them (yes, you!) to listen to their complaints or their daily ramblings.

What I’ve yet to figure out is to balance my happiness and theirs. I want to make my parents happy. I want them to live a peaceful life. But what if they are doing so at the expense of MY happiness? I still believe that everyone can be happy, although I am not quite sure how to get there.

Change #2: Quit it with the bitching

“You don’t know meh? She’s damn xxx one. She’s such a xxx”

Gossiping is probably every girl’s favorite past time. There are times when we can’t help but feed our friends with ‘shocking news’ or with the latest rumors. Doing so does more harm than you think.

I am guilty of gossiping and I always feel terrible after doing so. Sometimes, we do it because we face peer-pressure. We feel compelled to contribute when our friends discuss intensely about xxx’s boyfriends or the countless mistakes that someone in the workplace or at school has made.

But remember, speaking ill of someone says more what kind of person YOU are than the person’s apparent ‘wrong-doings’.

Every time I’m tempted to share about a person’s ‘dirty secrets’, I put myself in the person’s shoes. I would feel terrible if people were to spread rumors about me or make assumptions about how I’m dealing with my life.

I will choose to stay silent instead. I’m learning to be sensitive.

Change #3: Get up on my feet and handle my own shit

I’ve been waaaay too reliant on my parents and on the people around me. I’ve been so dependent on others. I couldn’t get stuff done on my own. 

I figured out that I’m more of a taker than a giver, whether in love, in friendship or in any kind of relationship.

At home: I’ve always had help at home. My domestic helper would help me clean my room, iron my clothes and prepare my meals. Let’s not forget my mom a.k.a the Superwoman, who’s a pro with household chores.

Now, I’m learning to do the dishes. I clean my room from time to time. I pay my phone bills. Cultivating such habits take time but I’m determined to see through the entire ‘getting independent’ process. I figured out that sooner or later in life, I have to be on my own and I need to know how to get around to living. Yes, I’m getting domesticated. Don’t expect me to bake an apple pie though!

At work: One grave mistake I made during internship was to not speak up about my interests and abilities. I feel that work is not all about getting a nice paycheck or getting that promotion. Instead, work is about pushing yourself to perform better. Challenge yourself to not screw that presentation up. Prove to yourself that you’re capable of handling a difficult client.

Sadly, I did not make full use of my opportunities during my internship. It’s depressing how my supervisor only learnt about my abilities and skills during the end of my internship.

I do not want to make the same mistake again. From now on, I’ll remind myself that I am worthy and capable of doing great things.

Let us all muster the courage to change for the better before the tough obstacles in life get the better of us!